Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Feelings of Failure

I was given a chance to do something new, exciting and nerve racking and that was to come as an "honored" guest photographer for a dance benefit and in my eyes, I failed the task. The minute I walked into the badly lit theatre, I knew I was in trouble. I took a few test shots from different locations and I was unable to get anything of significance. I am a dancer so, I love watching dance but this was absolutely the worst time I have ever had watching a dance performance and by the time the show ended, I had aged 20 years. I am laughing now but that night, I felt so defeated. Don't get me wrong, I loved the dances but with every click a feeling of despair hang over my head, some how I knew I wasn't living up to my expectations. I wanted to blame it on the recently purchased camera but no, I think it was just my skill level, and my son who is a photographer and has done many photo shoots tried to make me feel better by telling me that this was a great thing and that it would help me to grow, but, I was inconsolable until I found an email that explained to the company director that the lighting would be a problem but I would come and try to capture something. In the end, the dancers were very appreciative of the photos and I thanked them and tried to move forward. You see, I am out of practice when it comes to failure and that is because I am not taking any chances, which is not a good thing. In order to stay in the game called life, I need to continue to put myself out there to learn new things, move out of my comfort zone, be daring, embrace new challenges and learn from my not so successful ventures. By doing this, I will always be a winner.