Monday, November 2, 2009

Berkeley, Calif.

There is nothing more annoying than, shopping for groceries at wholefoods or Berkeley bowl in Berkeley, California. Berkeley seems to be the land of the pretentious jackass. When I enter either of these two stores, I could swear that I am in zombieland. These places are swarming with very dry skinned and a lot of gray haired people, which isn't a bad thing at all, the hair that is, but you rarely see gray in the rest of the state. You are hard pressed to find anyone wearing bright colors since the color palette seems to be brown and beige, anything dark, wrinkled and unappealing. The next thing to notice is that they avoid eye contact, and they rarely use the phrases, excuse me, or , I am sorry as they wheel their carts in a freeway rush hour type of way down the aisles. I have come close to slapping a few of them and, I find myself, talking to myself about the disturbing images before my eyes. What the hell is wrong with these people, where are their smiles and normal human interactions? Are they just too hungry and emaciated to raise their heads and to try and make some kind of facial gesture other than the zombie like stares. Sometimes I want to stop looking for them to respond to my smiles or my human facial gestures but then, I realize that this is how it starts , you slowly become one of the walking zombies, dried up due to the lack of moisturizer, wearing wrinkled browns and beige clothing made from natural fibers and losing your ability to speak while shopping. So I continue to say excuse me, and I wear my bright colors, paint my toenails, moisturize everyday and I smile and show many other human emotions while shopping in Berkeley! Don't let them get you!


  1. these people have no time to look up at you, they're too busy saving the enviroment! what? why are you smiling? dont you see that you are consuming stuff? the very flaw in humans! the intrinsically perfect earth hates you for that. but at least you're consuming less than the other humans. so when you exit the store feel free to wear a smug facial expression.

  2. very funny...good observation.