My city

I told you that I would go and find out what the heck is going on in this place where I dwell, but , I didn't actually find this place, one of my facebook/dancer friends found it, and knew I would  love it.  It is so classy that you keep looking around in disbelief, I mean, this is really happening, we are still in my city.  And to top it all off, it is owned by an African American sistah!!  Wow, wow!! This is going to be my new hang out, and if that happens ,  I will have to go back to exercising because the desserts are to live for.  I had red velvet cake for the first time, and oh man!!  There are also a couple of other businesses that I want to check out.  Two doors to the right, if you are going into the tearoom, there is an art gallery and two doors to the left is , be still my heart, a bookstore that sells used and some new books.  And all of this was happening right around the corner from the Peet's coffee where I first heard the question posed to a man at the next table, "so, what goes on in your town?"

The Golden Tea Garden

Everyday Goddesses

I am so excited that sistah Oya lead me to this wonderful network, I guess you call it that, of African women called, everyday goddesses!  I really didn't know what I was signing up for but when I looked at some of the topics of discussions on their main page, I wanted to be a part of this group.  Tomorrow I will have time to explore the site more completely, but for now, I am so burned out, bedtime, nighty night!

A day at the museum

Individual rights over the rule of the mob

Today I went to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Arts and I really enjoyed being there with two of my children and my little grandson, who slept the entire time.  That part of my day was enjoyable but it seems that the bulk of my day was spent doing battle on facebook with a woman that was part of a mob that started on facebook group who's sole purpose is to infringe on an  individual's right to wear the clothes of their choosing. It seems these people have decided that young people who wear sagging pants are " idiots and ghetto automatons."  They are pawns being used for a more sinister purpose of which they are just too dumb to figure out.  So this group really has their well being in mind and they just want to help them to be better people.  Bullshit!!!  As we got deeper into our debate which started yesterday and is still going on right now, she started to state that these kids look like idiots and this clothing trend, their music  and the environment and culture in which they participate is being handed to them by forces that are out to destroy them.  She also felt  that the act of  wearing the sagging pants showed how rampant low esteem is in these youths. She basically attributed all of the woes of the African American community on the sagging pants and underwear of these young people.  For me the whole thing boiled down to the rights of the individual over the rule of the mob.  A lot of these people want the government to outlaw sagging pants and a few southern states have actually passed laws prohibiting sagging, this is some really dangerous shit, next they will  pass laws to prohibit the wearing of dreadlocks!

Ridding myself of self-less acts one by one

Since I have decided to rid my life of selfless acts, a lot of stuff has come up to make me live up to this proclamation, but today, I backslid and almost got into an accident.  Yes, I decided to change lanes on the freeway this morning, not because it was for my own good but because I was doing it for the jackass behind me and just as I started moving out of the lane, I looked up and saw several big pieces of wood in the lane where I was coming across.  Well, I swerved to miss the pile but one piece hit my car and at this point, I knew that I had done the wrong thing. A damn selfless act!!!  There was nothing in it for me and as a result, I narrowly avoided an accident.  So, I have to be on constant guard against these  random acts of  selflessness.  Since I decided to be self-full, Charlie has moved his art back into his ownstudio space and I once again have my own studio/creative space and I am overjoyed.  My inviting him to share my studio was a very selfless act and I have been bugged about it for two years, but now both of us are once again able to let our creative wings spread and fill up our own spaces.  Yes, this is a great liberating act for me.

My sweetie

This man I love

Often when we go to the sea

It becomes a lullaby for he

And a supercharging of energy for me

He sleeps and dreams

While with pen in hand

I try to capture my dreams

big Sur

Being Selfish

Look at that happy face, and you know why I am so happy,   It is because I was selfish today!  I didn't post anything yesterday because I was in a real funk and I blamed Charlie for me  having such a jacked up day,  but the truth of the matter is that it was all my fault.  Yesterday, I was selfless and there in lies the problem, I didn't do the thing that I really wanted to do because I talked myself out of it, over the concern for others.  I had convinced myself that the right thing to do was to not ask for what I  wanted because it was too much.  So I ended up back at home pissed off, and I went to bed early because  I had stopped talking.  In the morning it was all clear to me, selflessness sucks!  I only get one life as far as I know, and you mean that I should spend it denying myself and putting others first.  No!!!!  From here on out I will do the things that I want to do and ask for the things that I need.  When we were out in Big Sur today, whenever Charlie thought I might be having a "selfless moment," he would make me aware of what I was doing and, I would get it together.  I think that being selfish is a great thing .  For me,  Ayn Rand said it best, "This world is perishing in an orgy of self sacrifice."  No more sacrificing myself!

Adornment

I saw a video on youtube the other days that feature women that lived on the desert and they had a very physical life and they were fully adorned from head to toe. Rings, bells, bangles, scarves and other beautiful things.  These women work very hard everyday and still they wear their jewelry, so why is it that american women are always asking me if my jewelry gets in the way?  They make jokes about how they think I have on way too much, but by who's standard?  There is a world of women out there who have lot more jewelry on than I do and their lives a filled with very difficult physical labor.  I am a woman of leisure, kind of like Queen Elizabeth and she wears her jewels so why would I do anything  less.  Yes you guessed it, I am a Queen and I act accordingly.  All hail the Queen, and now I am doing my Queenly wave to all of you,  wearing a ring or two on every finger.

You're an Elitist!

while I was waiting for my son in the dentist office, I watch a television show in which a woman owned a cafe and decided to stop serving fancy pastries and switch to only selling bagels w/cream cheese and glaze donuts. The barista that worked for her said, "you might as well start serving instant coffee." and she said, "You are way ahead of me, this is going to save me a lot of money." Flash forward a few days and the clientele looks and sounds totally different. The barista complains to the owner that the conversations in the cafe have gone from, "does god exist, to do you know if it is going to rain?" The owner called him an elitist. So let me get this right, because he wanted to be surrounded by people that were in search of a deeper understanding of life, that makes him an elitist because he wasn't satisfied with the orgy of small talk. I take this personally because some goofy chick recently called me an elitist because I became a member of "the Bach Dancing and Dynamite Society," and because I asked her if the line that had formed was for the non-members? She spewed out, "oh, you are such an elitist, acting like you are the only one that can join this group." In the end I was right and all of the members were already inside and only non-members were standing in that line. I am simply going for the best out of life, having great new experiences, doing my thing on planet earth, and all haters can step the fuck off. So if wanting to surround myself with the best of life makes me an elitist, so be it!

The Cost of Exposure

I am trying to figure out, calculate the cost of my exposing myself to the world?  Will it hurt me in any way?  I do feel better about myself now that I have decided to put my feeling first because in the past, I chose to be what I considered nice and kind .  That meant, if I disagreed with nice people, I just left it alone so I wouldn't make them feel bad.  This approach really didn't do much for my spirit except I guess I liked being seen as a nice person because when I was younger some in my family considered me to be mean any time I voiced a different opinion or went my own way.  But now, I am going all over the place with this and the bottom line is , will I regret telling my truth, putting myself ass out?  Only time will tell!

Gathering my power

I am really putting myself all the way out there and I am no longer worried about hurting the feelings of others or worried about them hating  me because I have the nerve to have different beliefs than them.  I am free to be me!!  I was always free to be me but I thought , I would have more power if I remained unknown.  But,  over the last couple of years it has become very draining to my energy  to not voice my opinion, to always listen to others telling their truths while I sit silently by, calmly smiling at them.  I am done with it!  I will not stifle my voice ever again and I am gathering my power and readying myself for the battles that might ensue.

Calming Down

It is time to slow myself down, I have been running all over the bay area since last thursday and now all I want to do is sit here and calm down.  I decided to have a cup of St. John's Wort for its tranquilizing affect, I mean, I haven't been this wounded up since the holidays and personally I do not like feeling this way.  It means that I am spinning my wheels and going no where, so starting now and into tomorrow, I will take the time to unwound.  I will do that by watching what I eat tomorrow, because lately, I have had way too much sugar and that makes me crazy, and by giving myself a crystal treatment, a bubble bath, turning on some mellow music and later on going out to Peet's, my cafe away from home.

Embellishment

Embellishment

Today was a wonderful sunny sunday as long as you were at the coast otherwise in the bay area, the air was quite dirty and filled with chemicals but I digress.  So getting back to my wonderful day at the coast, Charlie and I arrived at the Ebb Tide beach house before it opened and got the perfect seat.  The simple things, sunday morning continental breakfast on the coast, me and my baby,  this is how I embellish my life.  I take an everyday ritual and move it to a different location and bam, magic happens and life seems to be even more special and time seems to stretch itself out in front of you.

The Simple things

I think I have finally figured out now to slow time or at least to stretch it out, and that is by enjoying the simple pleasures of life.  I mean after all this is the stuff that life is really made of, the little things are the building blocks of my life so why not embrace them and submerge myself in them.  Minnie Riperton  said it, "the simple things, the lovely simple things, the sunset and the dawn."  So on thursday of this week, the simple act of having tea with my daughter at the Japanese tea gardens really lifted my spirits.  We didn't have much time but we took time , and the drinking of tea became a lovely experience of being in the moment.

The truth

The truth is that most people in my life have no real idea who I am and this is because unless they challenge me, I leave them alone to believe anything they want.  I have already stated that I am an individualist and in my cafe, I have decided to tell it like it is.  Here it goes, there are two big, big revelations, number one, I am Black in america and I do not vote and therefore, I did not vote for President Obama.  WTF!!! I can hear it now.  And the second revelation is, I think this, going green, green revolution, reducing your carbon footprint movement is, a bunch of bullshit!!!  Yes I said it, I am not buying it at all and most people are just blindly going along with this crap, never questioning it.  Okay, the two biggies are out there and the reason I have stated these two first is because they are the most pressing because they have the possibility of ruining my life as I know it.  I will get into more detail in the coming days but for now, I have put it out there and I am surrounding myself in an aura of divine love and protection as I type this.

Women of Leisure

So what goes on in this town?

While sitting in what I like to call my cafe,  which in actuality is Peet's coffee and it seems the best we can do in my town  I heard a woman ask the man she was sitting with, "So what goes on in your town," I must have missed his answer even though I was listening very intensely.  Maybe he said nothing and quickly, very quickly moved on but this question got me  thinking, what the hell does go on in this town?  This is the city I have been living in for probably more than 15 years, or maybe 20, I simply never wanted to count.  My favorite saying use to be, "I live here but I have a car so I can go away from here."  So, maybe it is time for me to explore and find out for sure if anything goes on in this place.  Is there any beauty to be found other than my home, Hummingbird Cottage?  I have never really thought of photographing anything in my city, I don't even consider it my city since I have spent most of my years in San Francisco, but, I think I should make that my anthropological project.  Yes, I am a trained anthropologist(10 years SFSU), so I should try and excavate the hidden civilization .  Of course it would be sad if in the end there really isn't anything worth  discovering but not totally unexpected.

A mother's day card from my lovely daughter who is a fantastic mom of two beautiful children, Harmony Sweetwater, 9 years old,  and Boris Coltrane, 5 months old.

Black Magic

I just finished watching the end of E.T. and I wondered why in the hell there are no magical tales starring Black children? I mean, Harry Potter had a couple on the sidelines but never a central character in these tales.  Now, Disney is coming out with a movie about a black princess that kisses a frog that claims to he is a prince and surprise, she turns into a frog, a frog!  Well, I can't really get mad at disney for making the movie they want to make but where are all of the black writers and film makers.  We are busy writing the same stories about the ghetto and living in the streets and there is no magic on the streets only death, struggle, deception and heartache.  Nothing magical about that.  And who am I to complain, I write and I live a magical life but I do not know if I want to try and write my world down in the form of a story for all to take in.  

Mommy is unstoppable !

Yesterday after viewing this blog, my youngest son pronounced me unstoppable and that made me feel so good but in the back of my mind, I knew that one day it would all be over but for now I would keep on keeping on.  I am so excited about all of the new things I am trying out, but sometimes I feel a bit anxious and overwhelmed by it all.  I asked Charlie if he thought that I was trying to do way too much and he said no, go for it, get in as much as you can.  My reading , painting and spanish are falling behind but,  I will not let it go.  It will all balance out.  But for now I am enjoying all of my new adventures and blooming all over the place. 

A Mother's Love(author's name unknown)

A mother's love is like a star

that shines above both near and far

those clouds may dim her light so fair

yet all the time her star is there.

This is a poem that my mom hung on the wall of our bedroom and we put music to the words and therefore never forgot the lyrics.

Now for my poem, written about 10 years ago.

Many things that I am

I ciphered from your being

I sit in my warmly colorful garden

and daydream about your essence

I walk the earth in beauty borrowed

from your loveliness

Creativity springs from me the way

I sprung from your womb

naturally, effortlessly

I believed in magic as I watched

you transform reality

I learned to open myself up to the universe

and trust my instincts because you

followed your inner voice

You loved to sing

and the sounds that sprung forth

were indigenous to this land

so I've learned to tap into this land

You were African and Muskogee

and some where inside

I possess ancient rememberings

that I manifest in my life

I am so blessed

to have chosen Willie Harmon, mommy

to come through

Live long and Prosper

Yesterday was suppose to be a lovely day of hanging out with my sweetie and  it was fun but a bit hectic.  City life is not for me, it is alright to visit from time to time but it really is quite draining to my spirit.  The suburbs can be vast wastelands but I have created my own oasis in the middle of a drought.  Yes, Hummingbird cottage is a long cool drink and while all around me people may be dying of a thirst for life,  I dwell in a tiny little jewel box and I will live long and proper

Magic Happens

I create magic spaces

out of desolate places

using colors and fragrances

I mix jazz and samba

hip hop culture and ancient rememberings

of Africa

Flowers appear everywhere I step

I scatter cowrie shells

and rose quartz all about

bones loved by O'keeffe 

are gathered in baskets

reminders of Muskogee ancestors 

the sound of rippling water

springs from an altar to the Goddess

candles, fireplace and mirrors

reveal the beauty of creativity

New day!

I think that up until around 2004, I was resisting and intimidated by all of the new technology and now I am jumping in with both feet.  I realize that I have to understand it in order to avoid the pitfalls. So here I go into the world of blogging.

out of the blocks

This is my second attempt at my first posting because the first one was lost in the matrix when I hit the wrong button.  Okay, I do not know if I really like doing this but I will give it a try.  I mean after all I am exposing myself to who knows what.  I am hoping that only really cool hipsters with fly personalities will stumble into my cafe.