Pen Pals

I finally have a pen pal and I am overjoyed because this is a childhood dream come true. Ever since I was a little girl, I have tried to find someone to be my pen pal and I was never successful at it, they would write once or twice and then fade away. So, I am very excited at the prospect of finally getting my wish. Since I never got to do it, I don't know if I will be good at it but because I do love to tell stories, I am going to go for it.

Santa baby

Baking day

Well it is the 23rd of December and , I will spend the day baking pies, cakes and my yummy brownies. For years I spent my christmas day cooking and missed out on all of the festivities, I wasn't using my brain. Now, I cook my christmas feast on the 24th so that I am free on christmas to kick back and watch all of the joy that I have created for my family. Yesterday, I finally got my work title straight, when asked "what do you do," my answer will be aside from, paint, write, read, and play my guitar, I will add, I am an event planner, personal shopper, proprietor of Hummingbird Cottage and oh yes as Charlie reminded me, treasurer. That is a mouth full but I do all of this and more. I create magic and make dreams come true for myself and my family.

cafe society

Reading fun

I am having so much fun reading all of Stephenie Meyer's books. I read all of the Twilight series and now I am half way through with "The Host," her sci-fi book. I really love her style because she creates her own world and doesn't feel the need to adhere to any of the rules that writers before her have created. She didn't follow any of the more gross rules of vampire stories, fangs, ugly distorted faces and violent scenes of blood orgies, and I appreciate her for that.

Drum line

Rockin Robin

Obama and peace

I may have already said this but President Obama has reason to receive the nobel peace prize because he has not brought peace to the world. Today he spoke about the virtues of war while picking up a prize for peace. He knows damn well that we are not fighting these wars for any righteous reasons. He knows that it is all about, gas, pipelines,poppies and world dominance. They might as well have given it to Bush because he did what Obama is doing now, lying to the people about the agenda of the American government while causing the death of thousands of civilians and soldiers. The prize for peace what a sad joke.

Precious is not my story

This week I got into an interesting discussion about the movie "Precious" which I have not seen and really have no intention of seeing it but, I did read the book several years ago as part of a bookclub, which was titled "Push." Some of the folks in the discussion felt as though the people that didn't like the movie or want to see the movie, were coming from a place of fear, fear of being exposed to or exposure of the ugly secrets in our families and communities. For me, it is not a matter of fear, I just do not want to see this movie. I am never uplifted by ugliness. I do not like stories about rape and sexual abuse, it is not entertaining for me to watch these things. I prefer to positive movies, sci fi, fantasies. Don't get me wrong, I have seen movies with sexual violence in them but, given the choice and knowing the story ahead of time, I am making a decision to not see the movie Precious. The book was very short so, they have added a lot of things to the film, and there are just some images, when given a heads up about certain scenes, that I would rather keep out of my mind.

I'm exhaling

Now I can exhale because the gathering of sisters is over and who knows when we will all come together again. It was different, and in the last fourteen years that we have not seen each other, we have changed so much physically and mentally. I really didn't talk that much, I mostly sat back and observed everyone. Fourteen years is a long time and frankly speaking there is a definite disconnect between us. People see themselves in me but I really don't see it. There are lots of similarities but still time has divided us and I feel as though I am in the company of strangers. Will I work to change things up, I really don't know. But as first meetings go, it was a good first step.

Daughter and children

What will tomorrow bring

For the first time in 14 years all of my sisters will be in the san francisco bay area and I'm not so sure that I am excited about the idea. I kind of liked being a couple of thousand miles away from the drama but now the gangs all here. I have my detox bath, sage and crystals ready just in case it doesn't go well.

Boris and Ayana

Harmony Sweetwater

Giving thanks

Healthcare Reform or Repression

Healthcare reform or repression, that is my question to the adoring crowds that are for this healthcare bill. What is in the bill that makes them so happy? Already, abortions are threatened by it but what other hidden agendas are cloaked inside of this bill? I am always in favor of less government because they can not be trusted and I am always expecting the shit to hit the fan, and the idea of the government making it mandatory that everyone have insurance or else be fined is crazy. One thing I know for sure is that having insurance does not guarantee you quality healthcare, and forcing everybody to buy insurance is not healthcare reform. How about getting rid of the HMO's and going back to how it use to be when you could take your insurance and go to the doctor or hospital of your choice. Or, how about getting some real healers into those , what are now death centers where all they seem to be able to do is cut and drug you, and they don't even do that well because they kill thousands of patients each year through their negligence. I just think that once you start giving the government this type of power, next they will be making certain treatments mandatory in order to keep your insurance so that you won't have to be fined or go to jail.

chillaxing

Runoko Rashidi

The so called scholar, Runoko Rashidi dropped me from his facebook page this week because I had the nerve to, one, question his intention concerning a fire starting topics that he initiated, and two,because I informed him that as a Black woman in America, I am not damaged. Well, me telling him that I was not damaged seemed to ignite anger in him and another male fan on his page. Rashidi kicked me off his page with the parting words of, "by your email it seems that you have it all together and I wish you nothing but the best." Whoa so let me get this right, I am not allowed to have it all together without offending him? He gets to make the statement that as African people, we are very damaged and, I am not allowed to question this statement without drawing his disapproval. One of his fans told me that I was delusional and needed to do some self-assessment because any Black person living in a country that is under the yoke of white supremacy can not state that, they are not damaged. I battled him through emails for a couple of days before he asked me to pardon any of his statements that I found offensive. Look, the bottom line is that you can be as damaged as you choose to be, but do not attempt to put me in that damaged boat with you. I believe that the doctrine and practice of white supremacy is out of my control so I will not allow other people's illnesses to drag my life down, I go around it, under, over or push my way through it and I keep right on stepping.

A precious bundle of Joy

Healthcare Reform

I really hope that the senate will not pass the so called healthcare bill which is a bill that will take away more of our freedoms. It is a round about way of making it difficult for women to get abortions and who knows what else is hidden in it. Obama compared it to car insurance, which for the most part is you giving your money away for protection, but, I don't need the government trying to force me to do anything when it comes to my health. So everyone in the U.S. would be forced under threat of fine, into purchasing health insurance. The insurance companies win and will probably help fund his campaign for reelection. I try not to listen to Obama's speeches or interviews because frankly, they creep me out and are very reminiscent of listening to Bush. Of course he is a brilliant speaker unlike Bush but like Bush, I hear a hidden agenda behind all of his words, so I turn it off.

I do not trust or want the government to run the so called healthcare system in this country because I fear what type of new world order hidden agenda is behind their drive to take over and manage our health. Already, they are using propaganda to try and frighten us into taking the very dangerous swine flu shot and if the fear mongering fails, they have talked about the possibility of making it mandatory. Obama is a constitutional lawyer but like Bush, he is stomping all over the document.

Voting

For me, voting is a powerless and meaningless act, and mind you, I am only talking about myself. Luckily, you can do what you want to in this country, vote or do not vote, it is your choice. I only voted once in my life and I saw the flaw in the plan. Most people do not have the same values as me , so voting for me would be a lose, lose situation and I do not waste my time when those types of odds are present. Recently in a heated discussion, I was informed that since I do not vote in this country, I don't have a voice, and that people like me always want to speak out when things are going wrong. Well the way I see it is that, the people that vote and participant in this system have voted to give their voices to a representative who will decide what they should have. I on the other hand, am free to say anything I want to about this system because I am not sanctioning it by voting to sustain it.

Garden fairy

Berkeley, Calif.

There is nothing more annoying than, shopping for groceries at wholefoods or Berkeley bowl in Berkeley, California. Berkeley seems to be the land of the pretentious jackass. When I enter either of these two stores, I could swear that I am in zombieland. These places are swarming with very dry skinned and a lot of gray haired people, which isn't a bad thing at all, the hair that is, but you rarely see gray in the rest of the state. You are hard pressed to find anyone wearing bright colors since the color palette seems to be brown and beige, anything dark, wrinkled and unappealing. The next thing to notice is that they avoid eye contact, and they rarely use the phrases, excuse me, or , I am sorry as they wheel their carts in a freeway rush hour type of way down the aisles. I have come close to slapping a few of them and, I find myself, talking to myself about the disturbing images before my eyes. What the hell is wrong with these people, where are their smiles and normal human interactions? Are they just too hungry and emaciated to raise their heads and to try and make some kind of facial gesture other than the zombie like stares. Sometimes I want to stop looking for them to respond to my smiles or my human facial gestures but then, I realize that this is how it starts , you slowly become one of the walking zombies, dried up due to the lack of moisturizer, wearing wrinkled browns and beige clothing made from natural fibers and losing your ability to speak while shopping. So I continue to say excuse me, and I wear my bright colors, paint my toenails, moisturize everyday and I smile and show many other human emotions while shopping in Berkeley! Don't let them get you!

Storing energy

I am slowing down and storing my energy for the holidays. A lot of Black folks choose not to celebrate any of the american holidays but I have always loved the magic in most of them and I do celebrate mother's and father's day, easter, in my own way, spring and fall equinox, summer and winter solstice, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and I used to celebrate kwanzaa but not so much any more. There are issues surrounding all of the holidays but, I have found my way to celebrate them so I will soon come up with a better way to celebrate kwanzaa that doesn't involve collective chanting and swearing allegiance to some principles that I do not like.But for now, I am gearing up for thanksgiving, my son's birthday, my grandson's birthday, winter solstice and then christmas. It's the most wonderful time of the year for me and my family.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is by definition, valueless! My daughter got married on Oct. 17th and many wished her luck and preached to her about the practice of unconditional love and how this should be her goal in order to have a successful marriage. Well, this is crazy as far as I am concerned because in all my years, I have not been able to find any value in unconditional love. What makes it so special, why do the masses embrace this concept and, how many people actually practice it? If you do not have any conditions then, you are free to love the first person that comes along be it rapist, preacher, healer, murderer, whatever, whomever, they are all the same. So in that case, what is so valuable about this relationship? Maybe they are saying that once you find that special someone , and you get into a serious relationship or marriage, you should drop all conditions and continue loving this person no matter what may come. If I followed this logic, I would not be in my loving marriage of thirty-one years because I would still be married to, and loving unconditionally, the abusive jackass who was my first husband. The kind of love I practice is all about conditions, expectations and values. As a matter of fact I am in the market for a new word to express my relationship and what I feel for my husband and children because the word love is being used in all types of situations and for all things and as a result, for me, it is losing a lot of the magical energy it once had.

Married at Last

My beautiful and loving daughter finally got married today and I am overjoyed for she and her sweetie. I love that she finally has the family that she always wanted and although, it didn't come in the packaging that I was expecting, I welcome my son-in-law into the fold.

Bon Hiver

Bon hiver, meaning good winter, was the name of one of my favorite episodes on the television show, Northern Exposure. It was all about the anticipation and the excitement of waiting for winter to show up and when it finally does at the end of the episode, people gather in the streets and begin calling out bon hiver to one another. Well , I am ready for winter to show up because I am so ready to hibernate with my books, hot chocolate, blankets, my two fireplaces, hot soup, stews and my honey. I have to say that this is the first time in my life that I have really put myself out in the public eye and as a result, I am feeling pretty drained and I can not wait to start filling myself up by doing lots of creative activities. I want to paint and write all winter. So, I am ready to plant my seeds and nourish them so that when spring springs forth, I will blossom in many directions at once. Bon Hiver!

Just being me

Imitated but never, never duplicated.

People will pick your bones if you let them!

People will try to claim ownership of your authenticity!

Individuality

I will hold onto myself and I will not be consumed by others. My flyness is not up for grabs!

Spiritual/Spirituality

I am tired of the word "spiritual," because the masses are using it every chance they get. The word spiritual , used to have a lot of magical energy attached to it but now, it really doesn't invoked any positive feelings for me, in fact, I cringe when I hear it. Occasionally I still use it but I am working hard to find a new word that describes the magical world that I live in. So many have flocked to this so called spiritual life path but most of them seem to be doing it for profit and I don't have anything against that as long as I get my money's worth. Do not hang your shingle up if you just got into the so called "spiritual life," last week or, two to three books ago. I mean, you can hang it out but do not expect me to show up. There are many wonderful teachers on the planet right now that are trying to help with this great cosmic shift that is occurring and I love being in their presence but at the same time there are also what I like to call, spiritual pimps, who are rushing to the forefront trying to make money with their superficial understanding of the universal laws. They use the word "spiritual/spirituality" in every sentence just to try and trick you into thinking they are the real deal and they have managed to taint the meaning of this once beautiful word. So, personally I am abandoning my use of the word spiritual/spirituality.

Feeling a little stuck

I am feeling a little stuck and I am anxious to move forward but I don't want to force it because, just maybe things are moving the way they should and all I need to do is, take a deep breath, exhale and let the magic unfold. I am creating my reality and this is the part where I just stop the fuss and let it all simmer to perfection.

Jazz, tea and We

Forced Role Models

I hate the whole idea of role models because this title is usually forced on the individual that has achieved something wonderful in their life and once the masses find out about it, they attempt to covet what is not theirs to claim. The individual who has worked hard to reach their goal is then told that they owe their success to the group, their race, the collective, the mob and now, it is their responsibility to give back to the community. Oprah loves to tell people who achieve greatness that it is their duty, she says, "to whom much is given, much is expected." Her statement negates all of the work that the individual has done by stating that it was given to them, by who, and that she expects them to give back to the community, but why? Did the community actually contribute in any real way to the achievement of this individual? Who is this community that she is speaking of? Many of the individuals that she makes this statement to have come from some of the worst neighborhoods in which they were lucky to get out alive, and many of them went to sub standard schools, so what do they owe to these communities? I think that if an individual wants to give money, help and time to a community, organization or individuals, that is their choice, but the idea of a group demanding that a person that has achieved something outstanding is in some way obligated to help them is sickening to me. How dare people try to force a person to accept the title "role model" and all of the responsibility that comes with this title, and to tell them that they do not have a choice, the group has chosen them. This individual can choose to be a mentor if they want to but the mob has no right to make any claims on his or her life. This individual that has achieved something that the group, the race, the collective admires and holds in high esteem owes nothing to the community except perhaps a thank you.

Pull your Pants Up

I am so tired of hearing the retarded call for people to pull their pants up and I know that I have said it before but, stop trying to shame and apply mob pressure to get individuals to adhere to your standards and mores. From now on, if any of my facebook friends call for this shit, I am dropping them from my list. Come on people, one person pulling their pants up is not going to make all of the problems that exist in some African American communities, go away because they did not start because people chose to sag, so, stop scapegoating individuals and holding them responsible for everything that is wrong in Black America. I think the real problem stems from not being able to break away from the collective and take responsibility for your own life and judge for yourself what is right and wrong. African Americans are a very diverse group so stop trying to squash us down and cram us into one collective mind that cannot make a move unless the group approves.

Metaphysics vs Science

I think it is time for the new agers, people that study and teach metaphysics to come up with their own language and stop using the language of western science to try and make their understandings and teachings of how the universe works, sound more legitimate! The so called new age teachings are much older than western science and indigenous cultures all over the planet had and still have their own language , that preceded western science, to explain the nature of the universe, so it can be done. When metaphysics/the nature of the universe is explained in the language of western science, they leave themselves wide open to ridicule. Using terms like frequency, particles, waves and in many cases, even the way they explain energy is in direct contradiction to the laws and rules of western science. In my opinion, the ancient teachings on the nature of the universe are way out in front of western science because western thought is still climbing out of the dark ages so why hold them up as the ones that need to sanction your sacred teachings. There are already an ancient languages to explain the nature of the universe, look to the ancient Nile Valley civilizations, the ancient Indus Valley civilizations , Tibet, Peru, Native Americans, the Dogon, and many many more. It is a language rich in symbols and infused with magic and power which western science lacks. Many shaman, priestesses, priests and others, use western scientific terms while thumbing their noses at it. Drop it and do your own thing, use your own language, your own cosmology to explain what you think is going on.

Obama speaks!

What the hell is President Obama thinking? Why does he feel like he should have a private conversation with the children of America? Children do not vote so shouldn't he be too busy fixing the economy, to take time out to talk to our children? I find it very creepy and I don't trust the government at all. The children of America already know to stay in school and to try and do their best so what could he possibly want to tell them that their parents haven't already told them. He is not campaigning, he has already won so it is time to stop all of the town hall meetings and get to work on correcting the mess that is spiraling out of control. I really hope that he is not planning on talking to the American children about service through volunteerism or about the need to get swine flu shots. It seems like a bad and bold move and I really don't like the idea of him doing this.

Public Schools

Why is it that only the predominately black public schools force children to wear uniforms? What is up with that, how dare they try to destroy the child's individuality. But it is only our children who they are trying to program into being borg followers, white children for the most part, are allowed to wear what they want as long as it is not too sexual. I would not put my child in a public school like that. My children once went to a private school that started to wear uniforms and my children were always finding ways to get around their restrictions, to express their individual styles while still adhering to the rules. You could always accessorize but now, in some schools they are even trying to put restrictions on any type of creativity. In the end, we had to leave because we lost respect for the staff because of their attempts to teach our children to be collectivist. I am glad my children are grown, but I worry about my grandchildren growing up in this world where individuality is not respected, it is vilified by the collective.

the buddha throne

Easy breezy @ Peeble Beach

Today was a fantastic day on the Northern California coast, I have to specify which part of California I am talking about because I don't really like the Southern California's bay watch type beaches. This beach is my favorite beach to stretch out on, even though there isn't any sand, there are only rocks. I feel like such a sea loin when I lay on those rocks and sun myself while listening and watching the roaring sea. I love the sea and the sea loves me back. I have spent some wonderful and some sad days on those rocks. There is a rock outcropping that I call my buddha throne and I sit and envision the buddha sitting in calm meditation before the fury of the sea and not flinching!

Jewelry as Talismans

I love love love all of my jewelry and I am loving my new silver rose, but while I am enjoying it all and loving the way it makes me feel for many, it is a source of irritation. I realize that american women find it odd when they find out that I wear it 24/7, they don't understand how I can sleep in it. I tell them that when I enter the dreamtime, I like to be fully adorned, it makes me happy. There is a lot of irritation that I, one person who is not a queen or a movie star, should be allowed to have so much jewelry or to flaunt myself by wearing it all at once but , I inform them that I am not wearing it all at once, are you kidding me, this is just one collection. One of my daughter's friends, a man, asked, "how is your mom and all of her jewelry? When her granddaughter turns 18, she can cash it all in to pay for her college education!" I said WTF is he talking about? So in his mind I can only have what I have if others will benefit in some way. What kind of communist bullshit is that!

Cool places

I went out looking for things to photograph and I found it in this building in San Francisco called the African American Art and Culture Complex but many years ago, we just called it the western addition where we went to take dance, capoeira, drumming and once a year, we would go there to celebrate Kwanzaa. Now, they have added a couple of art galleries, some murals and some new paint to the mix and re-opened to the delight of the community but still when we went last saturday, aside from us and the security guard who acted like we were suspect for even walking in the door, the building was empty. The week before at the grand re-opening, someone posted pictures showing crowds of people standing around while they cut the ribbon and they all poured into the complex, even former San Francisco mayor, Willie Brown was present, so what happened? It must be the same as before, not new and improved but, still paid for by the city thereby giving the people that are running things no incentive to fill the building with paying visitors. It doesn't matter if anybody ever shows up, they will still get paid. So although it is a cool looking place filled with some cool things, I am still waiting for it to really become an art and culture complex.

cool places

I am still in search of cool places in my town and I keep finding treasures in little nooks and cranny and that excites me because I love a treasure hunt and that is what it feels like. So, I am planning on going out in the morning and walking through the downtown area and taking some pictures. It should be fun as long as I have my wits about me because like all downtown areas, there are a few shady looking characters and a few people that are down on their luck, and several pawn shops, as I stroll through draped in the jewelry, I wouldn't want to give them any ideas.

Grandparent

These are my lovely grandchildren on one of their visits to my home, and they are a joy to spend time with, but, I have a problem with people who think that as a grandparent I am under some type of obligation to care for them whenever their parents want me to. What the hell is that about, I mean I do have my own life. Someone on facebook asked the question, "should grandparents be paid for babysitting," and I said hell yes, because I am talking about the parents that expect the grandparents to babysit everyday while they go off to work, not the occasional stay. A couple of people said , no, while others said that you could pay them by taking them to dinner or paying a bill for them. Someone even mentioned that the grandmother was sitting at home watching her stories, what? I think or at least I hope that this depiction of grandparents as having nothing better to do than take care of grandkids is just a horrible stereotype. I hope that the new millennium grandparents are blossoming all over the place and out in the world having wonderful creative adventures. It is alright to bake cookies, hang out with your grandchildren and watch your stories, which is all television is anyway, but, just not all of your precious time.

Summertime!

Oh when will I get back to my painting and daily practice of spanish and guitar? It seems that this summer, thanks to facebook, I have been particularly busy because people are always inviting me to events and I can hardly wait to meet my friends in the so called real world as opposed to the virtual world. Yes, I am having too much fun but the down side is that I am not getting much creative work done. It is all of this light that makes me just have to get out of the house and mingle, but, I think that is the natural order of things, summer means getting out and about. Winter will be here soon enough and it will be cold out and I will be snug in hummingbird cottage with plenty of time to be introspective.

District 9

Just returned from the theater where I saw District 9 and it was fricking fantastic!! I don't really like bloody movies and this is what they said on the ratings but it really wasn't bad at all, I simply closed my eyes and it was over. Most of the time I worry when I see Black people in these types of movies because you know that they are there to get fucked up, but everything in this movie made sense accept for a couple of "Shaka Zulu" witch doctor type scenes that were just stupid. All in all, I found it to be a very creative and highly entertaining film.

Enslavement

Today I saw part of a video on Eugenics in the 21st century and the starting point in this film was slavery. I only saw part film, because it was full of nasty derogatory statements about Black people by, some very sick white people. About 15 minutes into the video I stopped it because I decided that I am not going to listen to the crazy sick ramblings of dumb ass people any more. Yes , we were enslaved for over 250 years in this country and the mental sickness called racism is still going on but, I am refusing to waste any more of my precious time listening to this total shit. If and when, and I have been in the past, I am confronted by these mentally ill people, I will deal with it by stomping it down through legal actions, which I have done successfully in the past, or putting my foot in their asses, been there done that, but in the meantime, I am going for all of the joy I can get. I know a lot of people that dedicated their lives to fighting against this crap, they have passed and the racist mindset as well as the systemic racist, is still here. I am not going to waste my time on planet earth subjecting myself to the madness if I don't have to.

Hiroshima, Nagasaki

A moment of silence please for two hundred and eighty thousand people that died because our government wanted to test the affects of their new bomb and they needed guinea pigs that Americans would not care about. They would never have dropped this bomb on Europeans but it was alright to drop it on the Japanese because of Pearl Harbor. Even before we dropped it on Japan, the US government tested it out in the pacific ocean close to islands inhabited by dark people, and let the radiation blow over them so the effects could be studied. On August 6th Hiroshima and August 9th, Nagasaki, the US government unleashed this horrible energy on the world and we will never be the same.

Oakland artist

Giving permission

Once you give permission to a journalist in the case of my daughter's family or in my case, to a film maker, you have given up control of your image and your words and they can present you any way that they want to. I used to be a journalism student but in my senior year of college, I switched over to anthropology because for the most part, I really dislike journalist and newspapers because I saw their work as being very shallow. So you see, I had to move to something that allowed me to observe and write in a more in depth manner. The journalist that did the story on my daughter's family arrived with her angle already in mind. She presented them as struggling and asking for hand outs when in fact, my honorary son-in-law came up with a unique way to earn money. The fact that reporters have their own story already in their heads before they even meet with you is crap and I do not trust them. They are not objective at all! She really should have done her research before arriving. Now in my case, I was interviewed by a very nice couple who were filming a documentary and, I am a little worried about how I am going to look in the film. I won't say that I am chanting and hoping that it won't see the light of day, but I have a little anxiety about how I will look physically and if I am going to have to leave the country for the things that I said to them. The one good thing that came out of the whole experience is that it forced me to come out and start to show people my true self, love it or leave it. I mean the idea of people disliking me on a one on one basis is okay, but, I could actually have a lot of negative energy coming my way from a lot of people and how will I handle it? I have forgotten most of the things I said except for some of the hot topics on race and I am cool with people questioning me about my views and know that I can give them clear answers. The only question that stumped me was when they asked me what made me happy because I really don't think about it. I mean if you have read my posts you will see that my life is so full of joy and I am just trying to keep others from trying to destroy my tranquility. So for that question, I gave them a generic answer, "family," and I don't remember what else I said. In the end I hope I look and sound alright and am not mis-represented through the editing process.

Indian dance-granddaughter-in back row-tall in red

Tap-granddaughter in back pink top

Silence Retreat

After going over the day in conversations with Charlie, I realized that I did enjoy most of my time spent at the Silence Retreat. Since I took my sweetie with me, sometimes we found ourselves whispering to one another but that was fine as far as we were concerned. Having the masses meditating, doing yoga, walking labyrinths, chanting and journaling is so new and shocking for me because these are the things that I have been doing since the 60's. I really don't know what to make of it yet, because if the people participating in all of these marvelous practices are sincere and righteous, why aren't we further along as a people. Why is there still so much negativity on the planet? Is it real or is it just another fad for the masses of people? I am just a little bit suspicious of the whole new age movement because a lot of people see it as a lucrative business and that is their whole aim. Some say that if you talk the talk and walk the walk, that means you are legit but not me, there are a lot of what I call , spiritual pimps out there and, they speak so eloquently and they appear to walk the walk but you can not always trust that. You have to listen to your gut, and see with your inner vision to know if their intentions are pure. But, yesterday was actually a pleasant experience and I did enjoy listening to the readings and guided meditations of Rev. Liza and she radiated beautiful warm loving energy. She was so attentive to all that came to the retreat. Oh yes and I must add that the beautiful harpist Destiny created a heavenly vibe with her music. So, I am looking forward to going to the next retreat in October.

Silence Retreat

Stolen Legacy

Kemet, mighty Kemet, Black land, land of the Blacks, an ancient Black, as in people, Nile valley civilization. That's right, this mighty civilization ,which none have been able to duplicate, was created by Black people and maybe only for the last hundred or so years, western civilization has been trying to claim it as their creation. Kmt got its start as part of an even larger empire, the Kushite empire. I bring all of this up because in a couple of weeks or so , I will go with my family to the De Young Museum in San Francisco to view the exhibit of King Tutankhamun, an ancient ancestor, and the place will be full of people not of African decent claiming and taking credit for a civilization that they did not contribute to. I know that the others came in as invaders at the end of the Kmt empire that lasted for thousands of years but , that doesn't mean that they then get to take credit for what they had no hand in creating. I just hope I am able to stomach the energy of swimming in a sea of lies. That is what the exhibition hall will feel like for me and at other times, I have run from these halls to find out who was in charge to let them know that I knew that they are feeding the public lies. I will try to control my emotions but, I dare anyone to speak those lies out loud! It is one thing to have them written in books but, if they dare to speak these lies the out loud in my presence, I will speak the truth equally as loud.

Bamboozled at IMAX

kfog

Today my honorary son-in-law was interviewed and then he performed on the kfog morning radio show, it was very cool. He was relaxed, well spoken, candid and talented.

He created a way to pay off his mortgage that is genius, and that is what all the buzz is about. You see he is an excellent musician with a beautiful voice and he also has a career as a software engineer. He combined these two talents and came up with a website http://www.pleasehelpmepayoffmyhouse.com/ where he basically performs like a street musician and you can donate money to help him pay the mortgage if you are so moved to do so. When I first heard this idea, I didn't get it, but once I visited the site, I knew he had created something wonderful.

Post Racial America, what a bunch of bull!

I know everyone is talking about what happened to Professor Gates but, that shit goes on twenty-four seven in America. What has me up in arms is what happened on AOL today when my, I don't know what to call him since he is not married to my daughter, he uses partner, my daughter's partner's article appeared on AOL and all of the wack jobs came out of the gutter to post their opinions. Now instead of discussing his website and the genius idea he came up with, too many people started to express crazy thoughts in their posts. It was clear to me that many of these, what most people call just plain racist, are in reality mentally ill. They have literally lost their minds and the only things that come out of their mouths are ramblings of inferior minded people. They are full of fear and have feelings of being less than, they are desperately trying to hide this from the rest of the world by trying to put other people in their place. They dwell in their own personal hell and they are trying to bring the rest of the world down to their level so perhaps they can finally feel good about themselves. People try to ignore them, kum-ba-yah them and show them the error of their ways but this doesn't work because they have a mental illness and should be treated as such and that might mean institutionalizing them, electric shock or in the worse case scenario, a lobotomy.

Sabar

Sabar

Hipsters

I asked my husband how interested he was in being a full time hipster? "Do you want a little or a lot, or just a balance," was my question to him because I am starting to get a lot of invitations to shows, art gallery openings, and even a plays. So if we wanted to go full out, we could literally be out and about everyday but I don't know that we could keep up that kind of pace. Tonight we went out to watch our daughter do her thing in a sabar dance class and if I must say so myself, she is the best! But back to my point, we are trying to find the happy medium, we need to be out and about so we can feed the artist in us, and then maybe we can each get back to our painting. So we decided to go for the healthy balance as not to wear ourselves out. We don't want to go out just to be out, if we are not fully engaged in the activity, it isn't worth it. We are not out and about just to be seen by others we are out gathering energy to carry back to hummingbird cottage where our creativity will flourish.

Government controlled Healthcare

I don't want the fricking government controlling or having any say so in my healthcare. To me this is shit is downright scary. I see the scenario going something like this, they take control forcing all of us to have healthcare or else fines and possible jail time. Next they decide that in order to get the most out of this new healthcare system they need to make preventive care mandatory and that includes immunization shots for all children, flu shots for all, testing for all of the major diseases because early detection is what we need, check ups every six months, mandatory drug use for what ails us , I can go on and on. The bottom line is that I don't need the government in my personal life. Anyway, I hate western medicine because they are not healers, they drug dealers. They fill you with fear and then they do unnecessary surgeries and, their hospitals are over run with deadly germs so you are in danger every time you step foot in one. When my daughter was in the hospital recently, I saw this shit up close and I was so fearful that my child and grandchild would not make it out of that death trap. The only purpose of the government should be to protect individual rights, I do not need or trust them to try and tell me what to do with my health.

Easy breezy

Easy breezy and definitely a cover girl for the book, "The Game of Life and how to Play it." I am having fantastic experiences on planet earth. My life is most often filled with joy and I take full responsibility for that. I refuse to wait around for some institution or collective of any kind, to make my life great, to free me, to provide for me, no way, I have learned to play this game of life and I am becoming a master at it. What new and exciting adventures await me?

The Othello Papers

I had a lovely time experiencing the play, "The Othello Papers" by the playwright, Robert Henry Johnson. I was squirming in my seat at the beginning of the play as I sat there listening to all of the racial stereotypes being acted out while white people heehawed it up, and I thought what is my brotha doing? And then he flipped the script and the laughter gradually turned into intense listening to the historical knowledge that the characters delivered to the mostly white audience. By the end of the play, which is still a work in progress, I was cheering. It turns out that I have read a lot of the same books and gathered the same facts but to see it in the form a play was a unique experience for me. Robert Henry Johnson took what was the deliberately hidden history of African people and brought it into the light

Missing home

I am missing what I consider to be my spiritual home which I have been visiting every two years since 2000. I found out about Sedona existence in the mid- nineties but never seriously considered going until my husband finally convinced me to take what we named "our southwest trip." His interest was in New Mexico, Santa Fe to be exact. I told him that I was game but I needed to make a stop in Sedona since we would be going pass it, and it was love at first sight. I was awestruck like everyone who enters Oak Creek canyon. The drive down along winding road, with towering red rocks standing watch over your arrival into this magical powerful place, is a treat in its self.

By the time you reach Sedona and realize that Oak Creek canyon was just the appetizer and that the beauty goes on for miles and to top it all off , you are in the middle of seven or eight magnetic and electromagnetic energy vortexes(vortices), which are attributed to the iron in the red rocks, you are overwhelmed by it all. I know now that once every two years is hardly enough or right for me, I need more, I want to find a way to go every years for a few days. I am putting it out there!

Busy doing too much

It's summer and I find it hard take in a lot during these hot months, this is the time for output and that is what I have been doing. I have been networking, going to cafes, shows, and trips. What I have not done much of is reading or I should say, finishing a book. I keep buying books and I start to read them, I get about one hundred pages in and then I start reading another book. I really want to be out and about and not sitting around reading but that doesn't stop me from buying books every time I turn around and these stacks of books are starting to make me a little anxious. We have a lot of activities coming up so that by the time the cooler weather returns in the fall and winter, I will be quite ready to sit in my cozy cottage and read.

Keep your head to the sky

Back to my lovely power spot

I have been wasting too much energy trying to tell people to pay attention to things going on around them and now, I am done and you see that pretty, peaceful couch in the picture, well I am going back to kicking back and enjoying my life. It is a terrible waste of my time to try and wake sleeple up, just like in the matrix they have to want to wake up and most people are quite satisfied to never know what is really going on. So, I will go and enjoy my life. and hopefully I will run across others like myself who have awaken from the induced coma like sleep.

Your consequences not mine

Many people create messy lives through a series of bad choices that they make without anyone's help and when there is no easy way out, and it is time to face the consequences they turn to you and ask you to give them your assets. I have made a series of choices that have landed me in the midst of a marvelous life and now I am being asked, or will be soon, to give some of my stuff away to other people just because they need it, and to them, the fact that I have more means by definition, I can share and should be more than happy to do so. What the! No, I really have a problem with this whole concept. You make bad choices and I pay the consequences. What is that, does that sound logical, reasonable? Hell no it doesn't and I won't commit this act of self sacrifice for family or friends. If you create a hellish existence, isn't it you who has to face the results? Did I help or have a hand in creating suffering, struggle, pain and chaos in your life? No I did not and therefore it is not my responsibility or destiny to share in this life you have manifested for yourself, by yourself. We are all powerful creators and the life we have is the life we have created for ourselves and I know that most people don't want to take that responsibility but sorry, it is all on you. We always have a choice even in situations where it appears that someone else has power over us physically, we still have the freedom to make choices on how we will handle being under the physical control of someone else. Malcolm X made fantastic choices while being incarcerated for ten years. So the bottom line is, I will not pay the price for another persons choices because, it is not my karma. The consequences are yours and it would be detrimental for you to miss or sidestep the powerful life lessons that are the result of your choices.

my room with a view

no see um bugs

Who would have ever thought that "no see um" was the actual name of the bugs that bit me or at least the common name. When I was a kid my dad became very upset at us for calling a bug that we encountered everyday, a pincher bug. He told us that he was going to find out the real name of the bug and then told us that from there on out, we had to call the bug by its proper name, "earwig." That probably isn't the real name or spelling but, I digress. About a week and a half ago, I went out with the guy in this picture, Rahelio, on a sacred , mystical energy gathering journey. We trusted him as our guide and we had a wonderful time or at least I thought for about 15 hours and then all hell hit me. Bumps started to appear on my body, first on my calves, then my arms, my ears, on, in and around, my jaw line, ankles, and finally my cheek and forehead. Well up until yesterday I thought they were very bad mosquito bites and treated them as such. My daughter is the one that told me to goggle the " no see um" bug , and it was there on the web describing all of my symptoms. So now, I am pissed at Rahelio for saying, "I know these pesky little bugs are annoying but go deeper into your meditation." What, are you kidding me, I am laying my ass on the ground and these bugs are going crazy all around me as I try to spiritually connect with the vortex energy, wow!! Rahelio, Rahelio, you never mentioned the "no see um" bug until I emailed you about my dilemma, so yes, I am pissed at your negligence and will have to find another guide the next time out.

What I am saying.....

After last night's post, I knew I had to come in this morning and say more, clarify what I am saying and that is, the planet will be saved by enlightened individuals that will come from both genders. Those negative women that I spoke about are not the women that are in my life, no, I have aligned myself with self-loving powerful goddesses that are uplifting and positive. But having said that, I would never choose a friend on the basis of gender, it is all about the character, the positive flowing energy that comes from the individual, be it woman or man. It is a yinyang thing yall. This harmonic convergence is what holds the universe together.

Women as saviors?

I hear a lot of women and now men talking about women being the ones that will have to save the world from this dangerous path that we are on. These people feel as though we as women are righteous in ways that men are not. We are peace loving and nurturers and are the only ones that can save the planet at this point. Well, I think that much of this is bullshit! I see many women that are haters of other women. Unfortunately, many women do not trust one another and they stab each other any chance that they get, so, I do not think one gender or the other will save the planet. It is and will be the highly evolved enlightened individual that will choose to live on a higher level, that will refuse to live by the low mediocre standards of the collective. These people will create their worlds in their own image and eventually, it will trickle down to the mainstream thereby saving them once again.

The first hummingbird cafe

My jewelry, my talismans

After returning from my trip, I sat up late at night changing my jewelry to stones and crystal jewelry. Most people do not get why I adorn myself the way I do, but fortunately, that does not concern me. To me, my jewelry is much more crucial than clothing because it affects my energy, my chakras, my aura, and it heals and protects. I picked up a lot of energy in Sedona and as we drove across the Mojave desert, it came to me that I had to change my jewelry as soon I as returned home. I am still kind of overwhelmed by the vortex energy and I am taking my time and slowly reconnecting with my daily life. Soon, I will be able to write more, but right now it is a little too much for me.

Sedona

Home again

So we have been back home for at least five days and I am still adjusting. I went out yesterday to a scheduled pedicure and that cause me to lose some of my stored up energy from Sedona, but, I had to go because it is important to me that my friend stay in business. All in all, it was a fun trip but definitely too short due to the economy and the fact that there was no bonus this summer. This trip has made me realize that I have to do an energy gathering trip at least once every three months because every two years just doesn't cut it. In order to stay spiritually healthy we need to go out and gather energy to keep ourselves nourished and protected from the woes and ills of city life. By the time we left for this trip, Charlie and I were running on empty and in desperate need of our southwest sacred journey. At our ages, it is just too risky to let ourselves run on empty for any length of time because illness can creep into a spiritually weak body. Now that we are back at Hummingbird cottage, we have got to jump back into our creative activities in order to sustain the energy that we brought back with us.